juice cleanse…aka the worst idea ever.

icki’m on the last day (!) of the juice cleanse (i’m doing it through these guys. i’m doing the master cleanse). two words: fucking.hell. or maybe… never.again. i just choked back the last green juice ever. all i have left is my almond milk for dinner (which is yummy) and aloe vera water for “dessert.” 

so why did i decide to do this? i dunno. because i felt like it. and i felt a bit… um.. blocked up. do i feel a difference?

not sure yet. people say i look great but i don’t feel great. i feel hungry. and i hate vegetable now. and last friday, i had a giant chicken parma the size of my head and i swear that’s still sitting somewhere in my colon. so where did that go, hmmm? (sorry, too much info).

i thought that it would be great. i was doing it with two other gals from work and we’re all pretty fit, eat healthy, blah blah blah. it was a huge struggle. we were supposed to prep three days prior to the cleanse. i was like “prep, shmep. i’ll be fine.” the other girls were like me. our juices arrived on monday and when we took the first gulp, we knew it wouldn’t be easy. i was already having severe caffeine withdrawals and a head cold. to be honest, i don’t even remember day 1. i was so out of it. on day 2 (tuesday) i had some email from my manager to fix stuff i fucked up on monday (that i don’t remember doing). i was much better, but the thought of drinking 4 x 475ml of green sludge, plus chloryphyll water, plus aloe vera water, plus another 475ml juice (which was okay) and then a 475ml milk made me feel a bit nauseous. i started craving stupid things like salada crackers and boiled eggs. the girls were in worse shape than me. today is the last day and i’m dreaming of toast. i will never take chewing or utensils for granted ever again.


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