i almost went postal on someone at work today. i work with some petty people. i thought i was being nice by helping out on friday but as it turns out, it meant i was stepping on someone’s toes – the marketing lady.  i kind of knew it was her thing when i was asked about it on friday so i did a bad job on purpose so she could feel superior (see how nice i am?). but if someone asks for my help and i am able to give it, the i’m not going to say no. she’s not actually the marketing department. no one else was doing it so she decided she would do it. i am told that she makes dolls (wtf?) so she’s really creative. i’m sure. she was a bit threatened when i started but i tried really hard to be nice. a catty email went out this morning about how things shouldn’t be done without her consent or actually talking about it blah blah blah and we should all meet this afternoon to discuss the proper steps. the tone of the email was just nasty. so i replied back but thought i’d send it to the brit first to edit it because i was pretty sure that “go fuck yourself” would not go down too well but i couldn’t switch off the anger. my new email politely declined an afternoon meeting because i was snowed under with work (the truth) and since i knew nothing about the project, i didn’t see any reason to be a part of it – i was just helping out quickly. a couple of hours later, another email (to everybody) goes out saying that i am “apparently too busy to be bothered with the project.” i had to go outside and take deep breaths.  i forwarded the email to the brit to make sure i wasn’t being oversensitive but he said i was justified. i couldn’t work for the rest of the day. all i could do was sit at my desk and wallow in my anger. i had a training session to sit through at 4.30 but i told Hal that i wasn’t in the mood and was going home. i think he saw that something was wrong and didn’t argue.  when i got home i ranted for half an hour to the brit and ate half a block of cheese so i’m feeling a bit better.

i just have to remember sometimes …

not everyone is as lovely and nice as i am

most people are assholes

insecure people will always try to look better at the expense of others

and, most importantly

when angry, breathe.

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