for no particular reason. i feel ordinary. grumpy. blah. unfortunately that means i act all shitty around the brit and he won’t pander to it. he’s not like that. but i want him to let me be sad and grumpy without him trying to list all the possible reasons why i’m feeling sad and what i could be doing to make it better. bless him, i know he’s just trying to help but i don’t want solutions. i just want to feel like this, wallow in it, just for a day. for an hour.
i should have my own little “containment cell” in our back garden for when the PMS is bad. it would have a giant fluffly bed with pride and prejudice loaded in the dvd player. i’d be feeling better by the end of the first episode and by the end of the third episode, i’d be fit to go out and interact with the public again. there’d be a slot where the brit can slip through sustenance like crumpets, chips and packets of sunflower seeds. the brit would probably prefer one of those vacuum tubes that they use at bank drive-thrus.
so i have now given the brit the silent treatment for a full 16 minutes though i know he’s not aware of it. and now i’m feeling shitty for being so mean to him though i know he’s not thinking that i’m being mean. i was going to wait down here in the bedroom until he came down to see why i wasn’t upstairs, what with judge judy and all my other favourite programmes on. every time i hear a stoppage in his activities upstairs, i think that he’s contemplating my disappearance. but he probably thinks that i went downstairs to “do some business” (that’s my code for pooping) or rummage through my closet. but i can’t stand it. time for me to apologise.