the asshole filter in my head.

girl at post office: did you know there’s an extra $9 surcharge for each parcel being sent to the US.

what i wanted to say: are you f*cking kidding me?

me: oh really? that’s okay.

girl  is just staring at me now.

what i wanted to say: quit staring at me. you’re creeping me out.

me: so … can i send them …?

girl: oh. so you still want to go through with it.

what i wanted to say: um yeah. that’s why i’m still standing here trying to hand you my stupid package. duh!

me: yes please.

girl: so the $9 is okay?

what i wanted to say: YES! just f”cking type in my details and slap the air mail sticker on it so i can get the hell out of here.

me: that’s fine. thank you.

girl: it’s $9 per package and you have two. you know that, right?

what i wanted to say: really? is that why you said PER PACKAGE? do i seriously look that dumb? i know i’m wearing uggs and i have no product in my hair so i look like a troll doll but seriously …

me: yes. that’s fine.

girl: so your total comes to $87.00. if they were lighter, i wouldn’t have to charge you the $9 and it would have only been $68. that’s too bad.

what i wanted to say: really? it’s too bad i have an asshole filter in my head because i so want to tell you where to shove your f*cking $9 surcharge.

me: mmm. oh well. that’s how it is. thanks! have a nice day!

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