i’m not feeling it yet and i made a vow that this year i would make an effort to be christmassy.  the brit put the kibosh on my baby jesus-less nativity set and the thought of a fake tree makes me sad so there are no signs of christmas in our house – except for a couple of gifts wrapped in brown paper sitting next to our telephone…and a christmas panettone from the gourmet shop that we couldn’t ship overseas to the UK. i guess it’s ours now.

what can i do to imbibe the spirit of christmas?  i think the answer is to celebrate it in july like the other expats do.  i want snow!!  i’m going to sit next to the brit now and pout. maybe he’ll give me my pressie early to make me happy. think it’ll work?  nah.

DB left at 4.30 today.  he got in at 9.15am. when he left, we all stood there with our mouths hanging open.  i was about to ask him a question about something i asked him to follow up on. his phone was still ringing – people chasing him up for the same reason. are you kidding me?  this is who beat me out for the job? my seven-year-old niece could do a better job.

this was our first conversation of the day:
DB: can you run me a utilisation report?
me:  i’m busy. don’t you know how to do it?
DB:  no.
me: well, i’m not supposed to do it anymore.
DB: i don’t know how to do it.
me: do you want to sit with me and see how it’s done?
DB: i don’t have time.
me: i’m sure.

and the next:
DB: are you busy?
me: yes. flat out. but it’s okay. i like being busy. and people have to learn to be patient.
DB: are you missing deadlines?
me: just this one but it’s okay because i already talked to them about it.  only 15 minutes late.
DB:  do you need help?
me: you can work on this project.
DB: um, well, maybe later. i’m busy.
me: i’m sure.

and the next:
DB: can you download these pictures for me from this camera?
me: i can later.
DB:  like 15 minutes?
me: like an hour.
DB: hmm, okay. maybe [super nice guy] will do it.
Super nice guy: why can’t you do it?
DB: because i think my computer is broken. i don’t know where the pictures go.
me: i’m sure.

it’s more edifying to watch paint dry than to talk with him. moreover, he wrote his own job ad for the person i need to hire.  this person will need to work “evening and nights” (super nice guys asks: “aren’t evenings and nights the same?  and is it just one evening and a couple of nights?”) and he published it with three typos that i had to tell him to correct. my god.

the Brit and i went and saw a movie tonight at Federation Square after work.  the japanese film festival is going on so we went to see “the handsome suit”

we wondered what kind of crowd there would be on a tuesday night but it was full of arty faryt types drinking chardonnay and talking about arty farty things. they were the kids in high school who walked around with a jack kerouac novel and listened to the smiths.

the movie was interesting in that bright wacky japanese. i was mildly entertained. the seats were not very comfortable and i spent the last hour of the movie shifting my weight from side to side to relieve the numbness i felt in my ass.  i can’t believe we ventured out on a school night.

birds like to make out on our balcony.  bird porn. the brit and i can stare outside for hours with our morning coffee and toast and watch birds do it.  i asked if this occurs on our other neighbours’ balconies and it seems we are the only ones.  perhaps our house emits a certain  je ne sais qoui that attracts the birds to our ledge. i feel a bit voyeuristic when i’m watching (i am truly fascinated – only thing missing is david attenborough’s voiceover),  like i should turn away or draw the shades and give them their privacy …  but i can’t. they don’t seem to mind anyway.  sometimes a third ones comes along and tries to initiate a ménage à trois but that usually ends badly with squawking, feathers flying and wings madly flapping.  that’s usually the end of the show until an hour later when two more birds stop by for a little action. 

…

i think i can sum up how i feel about my job when i say that i would rather
(a) watch pigeons do it; or
(b) walk in front of a moving tram
instead of going to work.  that’s monday for you.

my mother said that i’m supposed to use the neck to make turkey gravy. it looks so gross. i wave it at the brit and make ghost noises.

don’t have a lot of time for a post.  i got a belated thanksgiving to prepare for!

one month after hiring a new person for my team i have to find another.  it’s not much busier at work.  i just have to fire my newbie.  not cutting the mustard i’m afraid.  I told DB that he has to be the one to do it as i don’t get paid enough to make people feel that bad. bleh, the whole recruitment process begins again.

the brit is making fun of my turkey day gantt chart but it’s the only way i know when to start cooking something and how long it’ll take.  nerdy?  yes but necessary. according to my chart, i have to start prepping the baguettes for stuffing so i gots to go!

OMG. he.is.useless.

today is the first day of summer in australia.  that really gets me in the christmas spirit! actually, the weather has been gorgeous today so i’m not going to complain (yet).

my boss was down from sydney today along with my equivalent in that office.  i get along quite well with him and was happy to see him. apparently DB was happy to see him too because he invited him and my boss out for lunch.  didn’t invite me – told me it was just a working lunch. wha-?  do i still work here?  do i have to flash my award in his face? while they probably went to some cute little bistro for a gourmet sandwich, i stayed at my desk and had paté on ritz crackers. classy. i looked at my laser-printed award certificate (with my name scrawled on it with a sharpie) thinking maybe it would make me feel important. crapbags. as revenge, i told the clients that DB would be working ’til eight to take care of their needs. i copied him in on it but knew he wouldn’t see it til i left because he was in a meeting.  DB loves to go home early,  well before me. he also gets in an hour after i get in.

so now i’m home and waiting for the brit to arrive.  i’m watching “A Baby Story” on lifetime and praying to god it finishes before he gets home. i actually want to watch the program on after it so i’ve left it on out of pure laziness. he might think i’m getting the baby urge. ha, never! i am getting an urge for a puppy. we don’t have time for one right now but our neighbour is getting one and i already put my name in for dog-sitting . . .

oh shit, brit home. “baby story” not done.  must go…

i got an award today for exceptional client focus and team leadership.  when it was announced i had to laugh.  i thought it was a typo.  i looked in our directory to see if there was someone else with my name. if the award was for and exceptionally shitty attitude at work then i wouldn’t question it. i think it’s a clever plan by manager to butter me up before he tells me that he can’t afford to give me a raise this year.

other than my award, today was rather mundane – and even my award didn’t make the day that much more interesting. i just spent the afternoon telling people that i was way too exceptional to do their work.

my boss is down from sydney tomorrow. maybe to present me with me plaque. i’d rather have cake.

the brit is finally home from work!  i just showed him the muppets video.  it made him smile.  then i sent him out to pick me up a kebab and some chippies. i did all of my chores before the brit got home.  he was amazed. i even hung the washing which is my least favourite thing to do. definitely kebab-worthy.

the washing machine did not overload on soap. in fact, i think the clothes came out cleaner.  i did have to run an extra rinse when it was done because the clothes were kind of sudsy still but it’s all good and the whole house smells like laundry detergent now. i don’t think i’m cut out to be a housewife.

it’s now the brit’s turn to entertain me. yay! it’s the weekend!