silver linings.

sometimes i do need to look at things thru different eyes.  i think my life is shit at the moment but i know it could be worse and there are many things that are right that outweigh the crap.

things in my life are still in a state of uncertainty.  sorry for not being more specific but i will tell you more about it when it passes and then we can all have a good laugh (or cry) about it.  i have a slightly better outlook on things today mainly because this latest work crisis has kept me distracted and made me think that at least my life isn’t as fucked up this project…ah yes, remember that big project i was working on?  they just changed everything making everything i have worked on to this point useless.  in the meeting they said “well, we’re just changing the colour palette and layout so it’s not that big of a deal.”  argh.  everything i did was based on a prescribed layout and colour palette.  now i have to start all over again.  my deadline?  next tuesday.  nice.  at least i get to pick the colours this time.   and my boss thinks i’m a star for being so flexible and patient (like i have a choice).   perfect timing as it’s time to ask for a raise.  there’s always a bright side… if you look hard enough.

i saw a girl fall down in the middle of the street and her skirt flew up exposing her red granny panties.  at least i’m not that girl.   

the dude from sydney who was using the desk next me to who stored all of his dirty plates on his shelves is finally gone. with the dirty dishes gone, it doesn’t smell like feet anymore. i can finally breathe thru my nose again.

it’s almost friday.  and tomorrow is the annual offsite for everyone.  i dodged it this year, i swooned into my chair and cried “i’m too busy!” and was able to forego going.  the first year was fun.  i got the opportunity to drink with my colleagues who drank a little too much.  then i got the opportunity to see my colleagues in their underwear,  try to breakdance, hit on me, and trying to act cool.  i like them so much better at work.  so anyway,  tomorrow, everyone will be gone and i’ll have the place to myself.  i’ll be able to wear pajamas and make photocopies of my butt (if i were so inclined to do so).  i can eat all the Cheds in the cupboard without getting weird looks.  yes, tomorrow is going to be grand. 

it’s 5.20pm.  the sun just came out.  i’m going to sneak off home soon. 

see,  life is good. 

in this one i just babble.

so,  we’re trying to hire people for sydney and melbourne and one of the applicants forwarded us a link to their blog.  um, yeah,  probably not a good idea to do that if you’re going to post daily about your adventures in binge drinking and puking on public transport. 

it seems that i have a new responsibility and that would be writer.  my manager writes reports and sends them to me to re-write/wordsmith.  i’m not a writer, it’s not my thing.  it all started when i happened to see something he wrote (which was atrocious) and i crossed it all out and rewrote it for him.  i should’ve learnt my lesson.  if i didn’t have a job offer coming to me on monday then i might complain,  but i’ll keep my mouth shut…for now.

no job news today but i didn’t expect there would be.  monday is the day and it better happen that day or else  i will lose it.  ever see michael douglas in that movie “falling down”?  that’ll be me.  except cuter.  and in more stylish clothes.

it’s official,  i’m getting my permanent residency. i know, i know, i’ve talked about it in the past and my airy fairy deadline for getting the paperwork done but it’s getting done now for real.  my company is paying for half and they even hired me a migration attorney to do most of the work.  he actually sounds kind of dodgey but i looked him up on the immigration website and he’s legit.  i talked to him on the phone and he sounds like a portly man with a double breasted pin stripecd suit and massive comb over.  i’ll never know.  he lives in brisbane so our correspondence is via email and phone.  he says i should get it in 6 weeks.  yay…i guess.  the word “permanent” really freaks me out. 

once i’m a resident,   i’ll be eligible for the government run socialist healthcare called Medicare (oooh scary).   i’ll probably keep my private health insurance not because the public healthcare is bad, but because i’m american,  i like jumping through hoops,  and if i don’t have health insurance, i freak out.  oh, and it’s really cheap,  like $187 a month for the same type of plan i had in america that cost a trillion times  more.  the Brit is on Medicare and doesn’t complain.  can go to the doctor when he wants,  can go to specialists and doesn’t have to wait.  he says it’s not as good as the health system in england but it’s waaaay better than what we’ve got going on in america.  there’s nothing to be afraid of government healthcare but maybe it’s easier for me to say that since i’m on the other side of the fence.  and i tried to convince my parents that it was all good when i was home last time but i always get dismissed as the liberal black sheep of the family.  my parents and sister are die hard republicans.  it makes family get togethers fun.  we used to get into heated arguments but not anymore.  they just feel sorry for me and send me emails with religious overtones to try to make me more conservative.  i set up a rule in my outlook to delete those.

the dinner menu at work got sent around early today so i actually got to have a peek a few minutes ago.  the restaurant is asian but yet there is chicken parmagiana on the menu.  wtf?  chicken parma is on every frackin’ menu at every restaurant i’ve been to.  it’s at every takeaway place down the road from work – the ubiquitious chicken parma sandwhich/wrap/panini.  it is to Austalia what potato skins are to America.  not a bloomin’ onion in sight though.

it’s finally friday and i am thrilled.    we are seeing a broadcast of “la boheme”‘ from convent garden tomorrow at the cinema and other than that,  we have nothing going on.  i plan on lounging around in my jammies and watching period dramas and reading books.  i started “bleak house” months ago and i’m not even halfway through it.  i’m going to have to start it over again just to get the characters straight.  and i downloaded a “welcome to australia, life in victoria” booklet today from the immigration website.  maybe i’ll read that too. i started reading it and got up to the point where it said that “in Australia,  we do not kiss or hug people we don’t know”.  yeah, in america, if that happened, you’d get maced in the eye.  weird.

have a nice weekend peeps! i’ll talk to you monday.  peace out.

tuesday.

i wonder how long i can milk the jetlag story to avoid working hard.  anyone know? 

ah, work.  it has me so confused at the moment.  today, i spent the day doing the duties of the job that i got turned down for.  i asked my manager if these duties would be transitioned to the newbie and if i would have to train him (in my head i was screaming “over my dead body!”) and he told me that he would probably want me to continue to do it for a while because he only trusts me to do it correctly.  really?  that’s interesting because… oh i don’t know…i didn’t get the job. 

my bitterness/passive aggression is on hold at the moment because yesterday they told me that they would hire an attorney to do the paperwork for and pay for half of my permanent residency application.  i don’t quite know what they’ve got up their sleeve but i clarified that i would get my residency as a spouse of the Brit who is a citizen and not as a slave employee of the company.  they seemed quite content with that so i told them to bring it on.  if they’re dragging their feet then i’ll just go ahead and do it myself.  but that’s pretty good, eh?  the application can be pretty costly,  money better spent on a new Tod’s bag,  so if they’re going to pay for half, then i’m more than happy to oblige.  the Brit is a bit dubious about the whole thing and wants to make sure that it won’t tie me to the company.  to be honest, i’m a bit suspicious myself so i may ask for something in writing (written in blood preferably).

so things are just dandy here.  i brought some spray cheese back from america for all to look at and marvel.  we’re all afraid to actually try the stuff. it has directions on how to apply to crackers that sound like the directions for applying hair dye. no thanks.  also,  the fact it says in big bold letters on the front “made with real cheese” is off-putting.  it immediately makes me suspicious.  i would just assume it would be cheese since the word “cheese” is in the title.  it’s like if a doctor put on his signage “John Smith M.D.  I’m a real doctor!”  Would you seriously go to him? yeah,  i don’t think i’ll be tasting it.  so i’ve put it on my shelf next to my obama action figure. my homage to america.

wtf?!

no word on the job yet.  they said the would make their decision by early this week and it’s thursday in oz already.  seriously,  does it take that long to draft my offer letter?  ha!  now i’m really antsy and i just want to know either way.  this is cruel and unusual punishment and while i’m enjoying my holiday,  this is always looming at the back of my mind.  not very nice.  to be honest,  i’m not feeling very optimistic now.

had a marathon shopping day and i think i’ve bought enough stuff to clothe a small country so i’m done.  it’s a good thing there isn’t enough time for us to shop in atlanta or else we’d be in trouble.

my parents decided to treat us out to dinner at the japanese all-you-can-eat buffet.  mmm, sushi.    great news for everyone not allergic to fish and seafood.  my parents are still in denial and decided that i can’t be their child.  my mother tried to get me to eat lobster to see what would happen and my dad got me a salmon roll.  i was soo grouchy.  the only things i could really eat was the steak and the strange asian desserts.

i got a manicure today and i was talking to the gal and she asked me where i was living.  i said australia and she said that she knew i wasn’t from around here.  she says that i have an australian accent.  seriously,  wtf?  i wanted to tell her that i was actually born and raised just a few minutes away but that would mean engaging her in a conversation about my life.  not interested.  the nail polish couldn’t dry quick enough.

we’re off to atlanta tomorrow.  i am horribly sick with a fever and really bad cough.  i’m trying to hide it from my parents by taking lots of tylenol and coughing violently in another room.  if my parents knew how sick i was, they wouldn’t let me on that plane.  i’m trying hard to not act sick.  mind over matter.

the Brit and i decided to try to pack all of our crap in one bag for atlanta.  brilliant idea.  not.  the brit decided to take as many shoes and outfits as me.  he’s such a girl.  miraculously,  we managed to get it to fit though i have to shove a pair of heels in my carry on.  i saw the Brit pack a jumper and i looked at him like “do you know how hot it’s going to be down there?”  i couldn’t say anything though because i packed 7 dresses.

we’re back from atlanta next tuesday at about 10am.  there will probably be some radio silence from me till then as there are loads of wedding activities planned so i don’t foresee time to blog.  with me being sick,  we’re going to play it by ear -  i may spend quite a bit of time in the hotel room.  you never know – i may feel better tomorrow.  i’ll talk to you all soon.

australia and all its wonders

really,  this post should be titled “people and things that fascinate/confound me” because it could happen anywhere i suppose, not just australia but that title doesn’t sound as punchy.   so here goes…

• the man who works somewhere in my building who will wait for the revolving door to do one full revolution before going through.  it could be devoid of people and he will still wait.  we arrive at work at roughly the same time every morning so i have the pleasure of witnessing his OCD.  if i’m a bit early,  i stay outside for a bit longer until he arrives to see if he does it again (i guess you can say that i like to watch).  and he does.
• the person at the cross walk who will pres the button repeatedly and quite vigourously for the green walking man to appear.  it’s worth mentioning that this person was probably standing behind me and saw me press the button already.  perhaps i didn’t slam it hard enough.  i’ve never noticed a direct correlation between how many times you press the button and when the light turns green.  my guess is that there is none but a lot of people must think it works.  I tell people that watching their report print makes the printer actually go faster.  same principle i think.
• vegemite.  i think it’s the same as marmite.  it’s all just brown goop to me.  and it tastes like brown goop.
• mullets.  they are everywhere here.  i didn’t notice them when i was back in america, maybe i’m out of the loop and they’re really popular again. 
• Twitter.  everyone at work keeps talking about how great it is.  why?  the media made a big deal about it because crusty old GOP senators were using it.  that for me was a signal that it was not cool.  it’s like the first time i heard my mother say “talk to the hand.”  i don’t think i said it ever again after that (except to my mother). btw,  they also use facebook.  not cool.
• australian commercials.  not all of them but one in particular that really irked me.  i’d throw my hands up every time it came up on the telly and wonder how it ever got past the “ideas table” at the ad agency.  it was a tampon commercial with a beaver (um, the animal) in it.  there’d be scenes of some super happy chick at the beach with this animated beaver,  both laying in the sun,  while two unrealistically toned men walk by and check out the girl and her beaver.  seriously, wtf?  cut to the last scene where the chick and her beaver  friend are at dinner and she gives the beaver a box of tampons as a gift.  hello?  focus group?  don’t believe me?  it’s on youtube.  see it for yourself.
• The woman who sells the Big Issue down the street from my office.  we happened to be on the same tram as her quite a while ago and accused the Brit of being a Free mason.  wha…?  then went on to talk about how they’re bad and i should watch myself.  apparently the Brit did some hand geture while he was telling me a story that i think is a signal used amongst free masons.  again, i say,  WTF? !  the brit and i ignored her (and this was well over a year ago) and she still bloody remembers me.  she always says something to me  when i walk past her.  i think she’s trying to pick a fight with me.  i ignore her.  she always has weird messages written on the side of the box she keeps the Big Issue in.  a few weeks ago it was “Ahmadinejad is sexy.”  For a while during the american election, it was “Vote for Obama” which i thought was amusing since you can’t vote for the american president if you’re not american.  this morning it was something about free masons (i couldn’t really see the message and i didn’t want to slow for fear she may try to talk to me about my free mason husband).  the woman is weird.  and what did a free mason ever do to her?

enough already.

it’s only wednesday…  ugh.

was the big announcement yesterday at 5pm life shattering?  no.
was it important?  no.
the announcement?  we won new business.
does that mean we get raises?  no.
so…do i care?  emphatic NO.
did my boss bring me donuts? no.

it’s been a wonderful week so far.  on a positive note, i’ve been such a grouch at work that i have co-workers buying me lunch to sweeten me up.  makes me thnk that coming into work grouchy is the way to go from now on.

Project Runway Australia starts tonight and while i hated last season (because nothing will EVER compare to the American version, right?) i have set the DVR to record it every week.  there’s a trailer for it that lasts about 15 minutes that they’ve been showing for the past week.  it looks ghastly but i love crap TV.  i made the Brit watch a Mrs Marple movie with me the other day.  I thought he would enjoy it simply because it was British but bad TV is bad TV no matter where it comes from and he couldn’t help but laugh the whole way through and make narky commentary. 

The Brit can laugh at me all he wants for watching old people shows on TV but i caught him washing a paper plate the other day and that’ll give me weeks of “you’re weirder than me” mileage.  The Kiwi baked eclairs and brought some over on a paper plate (mind you this is a paper plate, not one of those disposable plastic plates).  the next thing i know, i see the Brit scrubbing the chocolate off of it and running it under the tap to return to the Kiwi.  WEIRDO.

crap. boss back from meeting.  gotta look busy.

going out.

saturday,  the Brit and I went to the pub to help the Kiwi celebrate his birthday.  after working for eleven hours earlier that day, i was not in the mood to put in any effort to look snazzy.

me: okay, i’m ready to go.
brit:  you look pretty…hey, wait.  are you wearing a nightie?
me: yeah.  so?
brit:  nothing.  you’re just funny.
me:  well,  i just want to be comfy.  and it looks like a mini dress.  and when we get home and i pass out, you won’t have to undress me – just toss me in the bed.  i’m thinking about you see?
brit:  always thinking ahead.
me: and that’s why you love me.

as it turns out,  i didn’t immediately pass out when we got home.  i ate a plate of chips and a cold piece of pizza and then passed out.  martinis are EVIL. 

first post of the day.

Friday. AMEN!

winter wednesday.

another busy day.  i gots me a cover to design.  i’ve been looking at pictures of trucks all afternoon.  i need something arty farty to do – and not a wedding invite.  this place is doing my head in.

i have fixed the newscaster hair crisis by wearing a hair band today which i don’t think looks any better but at least i don’t look like ted koppel.  french guy is back sitting across from me and he was looking at me funny so i thought he was contemplating my hair.  it turns out he was just  zoning out in between bites of his baguette.  every time i’d look in his general direction,  our eyes would meet and i would have to quickly look away and pretend i was trying to look out the window.  i hope he’s gone tomorrow.

it’s cold.  i mean it’s sooo cold.  it was in the 40’s (F) and that is cold here.  i thought my legs were going to fall off yesterday while waiting for the tram – they were shivering so much.  have i wussed out?  i mean, i’m from the midwest – we get below zero days and lots and lots of snow.  my dad would laugh at me if he saw me at home, in this weather with a hot water bottle, 5 layers of clothes and a blanket wrapped around me.  in fact, all of my friends back would laugh at me.  the first day we got like after a long winter, we’d be outside in t-shirts and shorts,  celebrating the fact that spring has finally come!  now look at me.  man, i’ve gone soft.

tuesday.

so if i’m not mistaken, yesterday is the last public holiday until november – that’s a looong time.  and if today is any indication of how the rest of my week will go,  i definitely want to stay in bed and hide.  it’s been one of those days.  four people from my teams in melbourne and sydney  called in sick leaving us with three people to cover all of the work that came in.  so much for work avoidance. and yes, my computer is still broken.  i’m glaring at the IT guy as i write this but he’s ignoring me now.

all of my work is finally done and now i’m just sitting here contemplating how much cheese is too much.  i had four pieces today for breakfast/brunch and now i’m feeling kinda funky.  ugh.

the Brit has a team building day at his work today so i haven’t heard from him all day.  he was not thrilled about it – he’s not a “team building” type of guy.  he just likes to come in, do his job, and then go home.  i’m not too into team building either, but if it’s a day away from the office,  go team!  i told him that it’s probably going to one of those things where you’re blindfolded and have to fall backwards, trusting that your co workers will catch you.  i am not the person you want to catch you. i get too easily distracted by shiney things and moving objects.  he sent me the itinerary.  at 1.30pm,  they are having a “gnome hunt.” poor boy.

i’m going through a hair crisis today.  i think i’m getting that newscaster hair that i usually only notice on old men and uptight preppy boys.  i caught a reflection of myself in the backsplash of the kitchen when i was making a cup of tea and i’ve been paranoid about it all day.  i’m waiting for someone to ask me what tomorrow’s weather will be.  i’ll need to do something about it when i get home.

so there you go – my day in a nutshell.  not very exciting i’m afraid.  maybe the Brit will have some team building stories i can share with you tomorrow.