finally.

phew.  my monstrous project is done, for now.  just waiting on approval and then i move on to phase 2 (which, by the way, is just as crap as phase 1).  i sent off my files just a few minutes ago and now i can breathe.  and write.  i know you’ve been so bored without me.

i’ve actually been so busy that i haven’t had time to fixate on the fact that i’ve also been doing douchbag’s job at the same time which was a good thing.  but i’m back to fixatin’ cuz my project is done for now.  he’s a douchbag.  and he hasn’t started yet.  will he ever start?  we’re taking bets. 

i’ve been tempted to set up an auto-reply rule in my outlook for certain people i work with.  the reply would be “you’re a tool.”  it’s my knee-jerk reaction everytime i get an email from one of them and i have to wait a few minutes before replying to them or else i will say it.  let’s face facts.  they are tools.  i only speak the truth.

news news news…

oh! it’s the Brit’s birthday today! yay!  last night i cooked extra special dinner for the Brit, the Kiwi, and the Other Asian (dude, sorry about your nickname but I have to distinguish you from the main Asian (me) and it’s way better than Hand Job which is what i considered calling you (minds out of gutters people – he’s an occupational therapist specialising in hands – sheesh!)).  the Brit chose the menu.  we ate until we burst.  it was a good night. 

the Kiwi got the book ”band of brothers” by stephen ambrose for the Brit and i started reading it last night (his presents are actually our presents).  i finished Thurber finally which i quite enjoyed.  i am also trying to finish Gaudete by Ted Hughes which i started a year ago but never was able to finish.  it’s one of those books that i can’t stop and start because i lose track of what’s happened and who’s who. it’s also written in verse so the momentum gets lost.  it was a gift from the Brit a few years ago and he attached a note that said “…in places, this poem really gets going.”  he didn’t mention that the rest of the poem drags.  i’m determined to finish it before 2010. 

the Brit got me DVD box sets from overseas – House of Eliot, Ms Marple, Little Dorrit and the Forsyte Saga.  did i also mention that the Brit is required to buy me gifts on his birthday?  He’s trying to inundate my head with BBC programmes and not Australian entertainment or people’s court.  apparently he thinks i’ve become dumber too.  Not like House of Eliot is edifying but the english accents make it sound way more intelligent than judge judy. my plan was to watch them all this weekend but i had to work!  i have therefore amended my plan to go home at 1pm today because i’ve been here since 6am trying to finish my stupid project. 

about that link to the australian programme above,  had quite a lively discussion about it at work last friday.  most of the aussies i work with were mortified and embarrassed.  others didn’t see the big deal and then spent the next few minutes convincing me that they have nothing but high opinions of black people and then talk about the one black person they met overseas and how they consider them a friend.  i told them that the “i know a black person” logic doesn’t really wash in america but neither do black face performances.  things must be different in australia.  i have my opinion on it and so do some of my colleagues and i didn’t want to get involved in the dicussion, but i’m the only american in the office so they ask me.  “do you think you guys are being oversensitive?”  you guys?  my reply – “do you think you guys are a bit bogan?”  they should know better than to ask my opinion.

got an email from my father this morning.  he only emails me when my mother has a question for me.  my mother doesn’t know how to work email.  they always start like this “mom wants to know…”  and then he always ends with “if you can please let me know and i will inform mom.”  and then he always signs off “regards”  or “kind regards.”   my daily CNN updates make me feel more warm and fuzzy than emails from my parents.  when my parents write to the Brit,  they always sign off “love.”  i’m convinced my parents love him more.  it’s probably because he always unpacks his suitcase straightaway.   he’s such a kiss ass.

I am currently obsessed with anything  WWII at the moment (hence “band of brothers” on reading list).  it’s  been ongoing for quite a while now and hasn’t faded like my obsession with quantum physics (which came about after watching a series of movies about time travel like back to the future and terminator (very scientific indeed!)).  the quantum physics thing got a bit too nerdy and i envisioned myself playing world of warcraft at a LAN party in the near future so i had to put a stop to it.  on saturday, when i got home from work, we watched three documentaries – one on patton, one on macarthur and one about the battle of britain.  i feel my brain cells regenerating.  we are watching everything that has to do with WWII in including old movies which are the only movies my father likes – finally something in common.  i’ll have to write my father an email “dear dad,  we watched tora! tora! tora!  we can discuss at a later date.  kind regards,  your daughter”  he’d probably reply to the Brit,  and cc me.  maybe not even copy me.  that’s how it is.

Risky business

yesterday,  the brit and i played a game of Risk with the Kiwi and Andrew.  i thought my experience of playing Lego Battles on Nintendo DS would be to my advantage but i still lost.  i abandoned my usual tactic of keeping Siam as my base (a tactic that is often ridiculed by the others) and decided to concentrate on africa.  another tactic that i used was pouting to put off anyone from wanting to attack my countries.  it only worked with the Brit – i even got him to make me a sandwich!  andrew proved to be way too bloodthirsty and power hungry and my armies eventually crumbled.  i demand a rematch. 

hey, i finally downloaded some pictures from our holiday.  a whopping four…which is all we took really because  we’re crap –   you can say it loud and clear,  we know it.

on our way to the baseball game

oooh, baseball.  about as mind numbing to watch as cricket.  at least i was drunk.

and this is what made me drunk.  they’re really good but you can really only carry one of these around if you’re a girl.

me, the Brit and birth control my niece and nephew

monday musings.

i feel really washed out today.  my sinuses were horrible yesterday for some reason so i spent the entire day sneezing and blowing my nose.  i had to sleep sitting up or else i couldn’t breathe.  it sucked.  i choked back two nasty cups of lemsip (that’s like theraflu for you americans) and that seemed to help.  can’t tell the brit that the lemsip helped.  every time i have a sniffle,  he insists i drink it.  he loves the stuff.  he’d drink it like  a cup of tea even if he weren’t sick.  i think it’s nasty and smells like lemon furniture polish so i refuse to drink it but i begrudgingly admit that it works.  another “cure” that the Brit had was to not blow my nose and let it run.  he’s reading I Claudius right now and that was one of the things that Claudius’ greek doctors recommended.  like i’m going to take the advice of ancient romans that ate peacock tongues and married their sisters… okay, i admit i tried it for ten minutes.  i was desparate.  it didn’t work.

i am feeling much better today but my nose is sore and i’m really sleepy.  i stayed up until 3am drinking lemsip, trying to breathe and watching Judge Judy and Jerry Springer.  i just want the day to end. 

so here’s a rundown of the weekend.

friday night
the Brit had leaving drinks for someone at work so i had the night to myself.  i bought myself a bottle of wine and finished about 3/4 of it by the time the Brit got home at 10pm.  i also watched two Ms Marple movies and ate cereal for dinner with my wine (mind you, it’s friday night) thus cementing my title for “lamest person ever” (until the Brit does something to take away my title.  please read on, i’m sure it’ll happen).

saturday
the weather sucked.  we had tickets to see Phedre at the cinema.  the Brit was really looking forward to it and i was  getting grouchy just thinking about walking in the wind/rain.  to curb my grouchiness,  the Brit turned on the next episode of “house of elliot” (i am a sucker for costume dramas) and i forgot all about being bratty for an hour.  i spent 45 minutes trying to figure out which of my pajamas looked the least like pajamas but then realised it didn’t really matter since i’d be wearing a coat and the theatre would be dark anyway.  then i had thoughts of Lifetime/Hallmark movies i watched on my days off where the housewife doesn’t care how she looks anymore so her husband ends up sleeping with the super hot babysitter.  not like it’ll ever happen (the kids, the babysitter or the brit cheating) but it went through my head so i put on a pair of jeans.  i wore slippers.

Phedre was really good.  i quite liked it.  i read it in French when i was in school so it was nice to hear it done in english.  people were randomly laughing at times when nothing funny was happening which i found a bit annoying.  the dude sitting across the aisle from me fell asleep and he was snoring through most of it and people kept fiddling with noisy wrappers.  it was like the typical opera crowd.

that night we watched Moliere (because we were feeling so french).  i read the misanthrope and tartuffe in school… but have no idea what they are about because i had to read them in french.  the movie offered no insights but it was still good. 

the Brit also spent about a gazillion hours trying to catch a chicken-like creature on his video game (or at least it seemed like a gazillion hours).  he has now hooked up the Gamecube to our TV but is obsessed with getting the same picture as with the Wii so he ordered a special cable from Japan.  he is now the lamest person ever.  my reign was short lived,  but it always is with the Brit around.

sunday
in between sneezing and coughing,  we watched the worst keanu reeve’s movie ever.  i can’t even remember what it’s called.  he played a corrupt cop who makes good.  so bad.  he’s not cut out for speaking roles.  he will always be ted (or was he bill?).  “i am a cop, dude.”  doesn’t work for me.

…

and now it’s monday.  i’m wearing a skirt that i realise now, after sitting in it for 6 hours,  is probably a bit too tight.  i asked the Brit if it made me look like an overstuffed sausage and he said no.  but i feel like an overstuffed sausage so now i wonder if the Brit even looked up from his Excel book this morning to look at me.  i have a hole in the toe of my pantyhose and it’s cutting off the circulation of the one toe that has managed to bust through it.  i tried to fix it during a meeting but wearing a too-tight skirt didn’t help.  i was wriggling around trying to use my other foot to fix it and i almost slid off the seat.  and then i kicked my shoe to the other side of the table and couldn’t reach it without completely submerging myself under the table so i had to wait until the meeting was over,  pretend to shuffle my papers about as people started leaving the room and then crawl under the table to grab my shoe (and crawling in this skirt is no easy feat).  i bumped my head.  a great start to the week. 

weekend roundup.

friday
i dorpped my dress off to be taken up last week and now i’m freaking out a bit.  it’s silk and very delicate and i wonder if it’ll be okay.  the man who took the measurements was sweating profusely and didn’t speak great english.  when i told the Brit where I took it, he said “really!?” in the sort of way that makes me worry.  i went to a proper dressmaker and they wanted to charge me $150 and take three weeks to do it.  and there’s no way i’m taking it to the man that shortens his trousers. his shop is in a dingy laneway next to a mattress store in the city.  his shop is the size of a postage stamp, the walls are yellow (from old age) and there’s a tatty picture of george foreman above his sewing machine.  the guy is about ninety and is the grouchiest man ever.  the Brit reckons that he had to leave his wife and babies behind during the Blitz so that’s why he’s grouchy.  i think he hates people and doesn’t have time for them which makes me kind of like him but i still fear him enough to avoid him.  when i pick up my dress,  i hope the Brit doesn’t say “i told you so!”

I also wandered in the city looking for the art supply store.  good thing the city is tiny so it was only 15 minutes of hopeless meandering. ended up going to the store by our house and when i got home, i realised that i bought the wrong shades for the skin tones.  i thought i could fix the situation by mixing colours but it’s still not right.  i stepped back to have a better look and realised her eyes are a bit lopsided.  bugger!  the brit can’t think of anything nice to say so he doesn’t anything at all (his momma raised him right!).

saturday
the Brit finishes his game! that’s all the excitement we can handle in one day.

sunday
psycho lady makes a brief appearance. the Brit is unfazed (probably used to it by now) and tells me to start exercising or else i won’t receive any affection.  exercise, discipline, then affection.  i can’t believe he’s applying the Dog Whisperer to my depression.  i’ve blamed everything from being homesick to not being able to get rid of the little black mites on steve’s (the plant) leaves.  yeah, sounding a bit crazy, eh? we both know the answer is because i’ve taken off the last wee while from working out.  exercise is the only thing that balances me out.  the Brit talked about the chihuahua on the Dog Whisperer that just needed exercise to sort out it’s crazy behaviour.  i should have been insulted that he’s comparing me to a yappy dog with bug eyes, but i know he’s right.  exercise every day for me starting now (i mean starting tomorrow).

later, i’m craving somthing sweet.  i try puppy dog eyes on the Brit to see if he’ll stop what he’s doing and attend to my needs. he’s on the verge of offering to do just that when i start to feel guilty (yeah, seriously, what’s up with that?!) and tell him i’ll just make something.  i end up making scones topped with fresh blueberries and whipped cream which i lovingly whipped by hand.  i eat two and decide that i’ll work it off on monday when i get my new toy.

monday
on my own. cannot leave the house because i cannot be trusted so i need to entertain myself somehow.  elliptical guy coming at 11 so i scramble an egg and change from pajamas to quasi-pajamas (yoga pants and a t-shirt which i often wear as pajamas).  good god, the new elliptical machine is huge! thank goodness i had the sense to pay extra to have it assembled for me.  i’d be trying to tighten bolts with a coin or with a butter knife – and i’d end up with extra screws at the end which is always disconcerting.  he was done assembling it before my episode of “murder she wrote” was over.  that’s quick! it’s brilliant.  i spent 45 minutes on it and loved it so much that i went another half hour later that day.

i mixed a new paint colour and painted over the face of my painting and decided to start her face over.  the paint is now a foot thick on the canvas.  if i were picasso, i’d be able to get away with lopsided eyes and greyish pink skin

when the brit gets home from work i announce (again) that i shouldn’t have to work (ever)

today
good grief, it’s tough getting up in the morning when you know you have to work (i woke up the same time on the days i was off so i could have coffee with the Brit before he left…mew).  the Brit tells me the shower is free. I get up and lie down on the floor in the room next to the bathroom.  the Brit steps over me and tells me that he is going to make me coffee now. 

Work is incredibly quiet today making me question my need to be here.  i should’ve taken a sick day.

nerd.

i never thought i would be saying these words in the year 2009, but the Brit has (finally) finished his flipping video game.  i wanted to crack open a bottle of bubbly and throw confetti.  i wanted to make him wear a funny hat that says “KING NERD” on it.  i wanted to play “We are the Champions” as loud as it would go and wave my hands in the air.

i kinda missed the whole thing.  i was busy making dinner and wasn’t paying attention, however, i would occassionally yell out “so this is the final boss, right?” i shoulda been sitting beside him with a towel to wipe off the sweat on his brow, cheering him on (and telling him to press the A button faster).  I did notice the Brit flailing around like a maniac, remot control and nunchuck in each hand, so probably better that i stayed a safe distance away.

but that’s it. all done and in less than 90 hours.

wednesday.

today is the first day in a while where someone didn’t say to me “god, you look like hell.”  i think that means i’m on the mend.  finally.  eating normal food is still a bit of an issue so i’ve been living off crackers and peppermint tea all day but i think the worst is over.

i ordered this dress for a ball we’re going to next week (because i have absolutely nothing in my closet to wear) and am all excited because it’s a foray into the world of colour for me. 

 i showed it to a co-worker and he remarked that it was still black.  boo!  oh well, i still like it.  it’s an “eatin’ dress” because i can eat loads and you still won’t be able to see my food baby.  i require that all of my clothes are of the “eatin” variety however elastic waistbands on work trousers isn’t really that attractive so most of my work gear is not suited for overeating!

 the Brit, by the way,  is STILL playing his video game.  the good news is he finally found the key that will take him even further and maybe, just maybe,  he will finish before year end.  you gotta be patient with that boy.  he can’t play his game tonight because american idol is on and i need to watch it so i have a current event to discuss with my coworkers tomorrow.  my common ground with my work peeps is american idol.  we’re a pathetic group of people. 

 

backseat gamer.

i just recently discovered how bad i am.  the Brit is playing his game on the Wii, and me,  needing to be involved,  starts yelling things out like “go there” “why are you doing that?” “did you try this already?” “hurry up!”  it’s not like i don’t have complete faith in the Brit completing the game,  he’s just more…thoughtful.  i go in a room, do my thing and i’m out, moving on to the next mission.  the Brit will spend 15 minutes poking around in a corner.  he’ll waste all of his arrows shooting at a rock to see if it’ll break (what’s the definition of insanity?).   the Brit is good at ignoring me.  if roles were reversed,  i would’ve shoved a sock in his mouth and locked him in the cupboard.  so anyway,  when i bought this game at the shop,  the geek-extraordinaire ringing me up said that the game had almost forty hours of gameplay.  wanna know how long the Brit’s been playing it?  take a guess!

eighty hours.

does it sound like i’m annoyed?  i’m not really.  i like watching him play – his body leaning to the left as he’s directing his charcter in that direction,  crouching down on the sofa to avoid enemy fire.  bless him, he’s so cute.  i just try to help by telling him how to play the game my way.  and why should he listen to me?  because i’m a genius. 

friday!

i am bored shitless.  the weather today is atrocious which adds to my lethargy.  i don’t ever remember it being this slow at work for the three years i’ve been here.  this economy downturn sucks. the good news is that it’s friday and i have monday off so it’s a long weekend for me.

i think we will be making a trip to america this winter (summer for you northern hemisphere folks) so i’m very excited thinking about it.  i’m hoping we’ll be able to have at least three weeks but it depends on the brit and whether he’ll be able to take that much time off.  he actually has work responsibilities that he cares about.  he makes me look like such a slacker.  it’s really cheap to fly right now so it won’t cost a mint to fly home like it did last year.  now i will constantly be on the currency exchange site to see what the aussie dollar is compared to the US.  right now it’s $1.40 AUD to $1 USD which isn’t great but hopefully it’ll get better.

this morning we noticed that steve, the balcony plant, has actually spit out a flower!  i’ve ignored him for two weeks now, not watering him or talking to him and look what happens!  i think i live in bizarro world where i get opposite results.  i lose weight when i don’t work out and my plant thrives when i don’t take care of it.  i’m thinking that maybe i’ll make more money if i don’t work.  what do you think?

i’ve spent the day reading reviews and researching the elliptical machine i bought.  the Brit says it’s nice to see that i’m doing my homework.  next time, i may remember to do it before i purchase something but i doubt it.  i have the Brit to keep my grounded and keep me from buying stuff i don’t need (if i am willing to listen to him).

so, no big plans for the weekend.  we have our fancy dinner/date night on saturday and then other than that,  nothing (the Brit will find chores to do,  i’ll find movies to watch).  hope you all have a nice weekend. stay tuned for the titillating weekend recap from me.  will i eat meat or won’t i?  how many times will i pout to get my way?  will i actually do chores?  will i water my plant?  do i wear something other than pajamas on my days off?  will i finally finish playing paper mario on the wii? inquiring mind want to know i’m sure and i’ll have answers for you on monday.

i heart tuesdays.

not.

ah, it was a glorious 4 days off.  having to go back to work is a real buzz kill.  again, i should get paid to stay home.

eating animal products on sunday was extremely anticlimactic followed by spending the entirety of monday feeling horrible.  I am back to being a vegetarian.  the thought of meat on monday made me wretch. maybe i’ll ease back into meat, red meat especially.  me and a friend went out to a curry place for lunch today and i all i could eat was dahl, some rice and naan.  I did partake in some delicious haloumi cheese and i made cinnamon buns for everyone for easter breakfast.  that didn’t give me any problems thank god.  mmm, eggs, how i missed you. 

we totally nerded out and watched all three Lord of the Rings movies.  i was just felt like watching them. the Brit said he would watch them too – but he’ll do anything i tell him to do (that’s what i tell myself anyway).  it was good – could do without the tender moments between frodo and sam but what are you gonna do, eh?  also watched a few more movies i can’t remember the name of (which must mean they were really good).

my predictions were correct and i spent the entire four days in my pajamas.  it was great.  i got dressed once thinking i would have to make a supermarket run but the Brit went for me.  life is good. i am not wearing bedsheets.  i thought about it though, not because i had eaten too much this weekend but because i had nothing clean/wrinkle free to wear to work.  but who am i kidding?  i’ll call in sick before i wear bedsheets to work…  i’ll call in sick if i have a run in my pantyhose and no spares.  yeah, it’s like that.

today i have gotten three more invites for facebook.  that is a total of 16 invites over the past couple of weeks.  that is 16 more friends than i thought i had.  who are you people??  and how come they are just now doing facebook?  hasn’t that thing been around for ages?  it figures that my “friends” are a bit slow to jump on the bandwagon.  some of them i haven’t talked to in years.  others,  i’ve actually emailed directly since being in australia and haven’t heard back from them (feeling the love guys…thanks).  maybe it’s because i’m not their facebook friend.  maybe if i write them an email and CC the rest of the world on it, they will reply.  i think i actually have a username for facebook…i set it up ages ago when someone said they had a message for me (which, consequently was “hi”… wtf??).  anyway,  i thought i’d use it occassionally to lurk/stalk others,  but i can’t be bothered.  i just lurk around other people’s blogs.  much more fun.

in The Age this morning,  i read this article “Money in bra saves woman’s life.” the gist of the article is that some woman in Brazil had a wad of money in her bra,  gets on a bus,  shootout ensues,  she gets shot in the chest but the wad of money absorbed the blow of the bullet thus saving her life.  not like i plan on being involved in a mass shootout (or riding a bus for that matter..eww),  i’m going to start packing some notes in my bra.  i guess i’ve been doing it all wrong with kleenex.  money is way to go.  god, australian news is so good.

relaxed and serene.

ah, yes. back from the long weekend feeling refreshed and well-rested.  by midday i’ll be feeling like i never had a weekend.

saturday we went to the opera.  “lucia di lammemoor” is the one we saw and it was very good.  the Brit loved the fact that it took place in Scotland but yet everyone was named lucia, edgardo, and raimondo. we were the youngest ones there as expected and all the oldies were in full grouch mode, complaining about every little thing – the lights, the seat numbers, the time, etc , etc.  i wonder if i’ll get like that when i’m old.  can’t wait.

sunday we went to the Imax to see “watchmen.”  being a movie based on a comic book,  i fully expected the crowd to be on the dorky side and i was not disappointed!  the brit, the kiwi and i got there an hour early,  secured a place in the queue and proceeded to play with our nintendos.  we looked like tecchie nerds but we were not even close to the other geeks surrounding us.  the kiwi swore he saw two or three cute ones but i told him that he can’t count us.  the movie was okay.  very violent and lots of unnecessary blood and guts. 

monday we were ultimate lazy lumps and did nothing.  hey wait,  i actually did chores!  i did two loads of laundry and some dishes!  i made sure the brit recognised my achievements.  i even worked out.  i’m so good. but for the parts in between, we stayed in and watched TV,  played Wii and ate food.  lovely.

vegan life is going well. i’m actually feeling very good and quite healthy.  i may actually try to maintain some aspects of it after easter since i’m feeling so good.  i’m dying for a piece of cheese though.  i almost bought soy cheese at the supermarket but couldn’t bring myself to try it.  sounds gross.   loaded up on fake hot dogs and tofu though. 

have i mentioned that i have the best husband in the world?  i was such a grouchy pants yesterday but he still cooked me a lovely breakfast. he so deserves the vacuum i’m getting him for his annivesary gift.  seriously, that’s what he wants. first the iron for christmas, now this.  nothing says i love you like a dyson handheld vacuum.   oh yeah, if you talk to the Brit, don’t tell him.  i mentioned that i would get it for him (he excitedly said “do you want me to send you the link??!!”  -  i felt like friggin’ santa claus) but i think maybe he’s forgotten.