saturday
the Brit and i went out to dinner with friends on saturday. i had a really nice time – sometimes i forget that i actually do have friends in australia and i’m not a complete moron. the restaurant was a B.Y.O (Bring your own) so i brought a bottle of white wine. i fully intended to share but everyone had their own too so i ended up drinking the entire bottle myself. i felt great until i stood up. then we headed to a pub across the street where i had three more vodkas. there was a very quiet voice in the back of my head saying something about mixing wine with spirits but the music was too loud so i ignored it. i was actually feeling okay – in fact, when we got home i even suggested that we watch the second half of “guess who’s coming to dinner” which we started earlier that afternoon. the Brit turned on the telly, cued up the movie, went into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of port and by the time he got back to the couch, i was passed out. i woke up at 4am with a splitting headache but yet feeling quite chuffed that i didn’t feel like puking, trudged upstairs to fetch a glass of water and 4 Advils and passed out again.
sunday
woke up and wanted to die. vowed to never drink again. blah blah blah. the Brit got up and went to the bakery and brought back super yummy gooey naughty almond croissants. i ate the whole thing in under 10 minutes and felt a bit better. i spent the entire day on the couch, occassionally moaning so the Brit would remember to take care of me. i ate nothing but crap the entire day but i was feeling too lousy to care. i fell asleep on the couch and was woken up by the Brit yelling “f*king hell” and wildly swinging the Wii remote in the air. boys and toys.
monday
that’s today and we all know how much i looove mondays. i don’t know why i bother asking people here what they did this weekend because the answer will always be “i was here working.” that doesn’t make for very interesting conversation and then i say something like “oh that’s too bad. i got drunk.” and then they feel like i’m rubbing in the fact that i didn’t work – well, i actually am. i’m good like that. i spent the first half of my morning contemplating what i would be doing right now if i were a housewife and then i got some work in and i spent the rest of the day formatting a report. not exciting but i’ve given up on being excited about anything here. i stretched the job out for longer than i should have but it gave me a good excuse to miss our weekly operations meeting.
i leave you now with my favourite conversation of the day.
me to sneaky co-worker (scw): did you just put an empty carton of milk back in the refrigerator?
scw: well, i don’t know what bin to put it in and plus there’s a bit left.
me: on the bin labeleled “co-mingled recycling” there a picture of a milk carton.
scw: no, it’s orange so i don’t think it’s a milk carton.
me: right…
awkward silence.
two cents