flies.

all of the pretty brochures at the travel agent won’t warn you about this upon your visit to australia.  don’t visit australia in the summer months (nov(ish)-feb(ish)) – why?  flies. they suck.  i remember talking to the brit on the phone and he was saying that Australia gets a lot of flies in the summer.  i thought…so what?  we get flies here too.  they’re gross but whatever, they don’t really bother you.

when asked to describe what the flies are like here, i keep remembering an image from my ugly pre-teen years. that was when i bought the Bandaid EP “Do they know it’s christmas?” and the cover had a montage of christmassy things and arranged around pictures of starving ethiopian children with flies sitting at the corners of their eyes. (i’m really dating myself aren’t i??).  so anyway, that’s what it’s like.  they suck! they fly into your ears, try to get into your eyes, your mouth or they just buzz around your head for your entire walk to work.  if you walk down any downtown street on a hot day,  you see everyone waving their hands in front of their faces as they walk to swat the flies away.  perhaps it’s my karma for not sympathising with the hungry ethiopian on my album cover. 

a can of fly spray is usually within arms reach while i’m watching TV.  not only do we have the “save the children” type flies, but we also have these huge ones the size of the Goodyear blimp. They look like wombats with wings.  luckily they tend to leave you alone.

come visit in the winter okay?

boredom.

i had the worst morning ever.  jeez, my job is so pointless.  someone should pay me NOT to work.  that’s how it is somedays – flat out in the mornings and now it’s a complete standstill.  not like i’m complaining. after spending the entire morning putting out fires created by stoopid people, i am SOO not in the mood to do any work.  I’d much rather blog. 

on my way out to lunch,  someone said to me “be careful out there, the sun is hot here.” hmmm, the sun is hot here.  here?  like in australia?  is he implying that the sun is not hot in america?  i mean, i thought the sun was hot everywhere because it’s the sun.  i don’t know.  maybe he knows something i don’t know.  so i smiled at him in a somewhat puzzles/god-you’re-really-dumb sort of way and moved on.  when i got back,  all hot and sweaty,  he took one look at me and said “i told you that sun is hot!” yeah, no shit sherlock.   did this dude live underground for most of his life or what?

though my morning was crap, i did hear a nugget of good news – frenchy guy sitting across from me was arranging flights back to sydney tonight. FINALLY!  i don’t have to listen to him chewing on apples or screaming out “Merde!” every time his computer freezes.  This morning he had some work for me and man, is he ever pushy!  “Ez eet almost done?  I  ave a meeting soon and i need to print it still. ‘urry up!” – all morning.  “oh! i do not like zis picture you ave chosen.  look for another. ‘urry up!”   i wanted to shove a baguette up his ass  – or rip up pieces to put in my ears to drown out the noise.  right now he’s trying to look like he’s reading his presentation but he’s actually asleep. i occasionally drop my stapler or other metal instrument on my desk to startle him.  it’s been my entertainment now for the last half hour.  oh, i’m so mean…i need a hobby or something.

i’m in hell.

well, officially it’s called Australia, but i’m calling it hell because it is so bloody hot.   it’s been in the high 40s and will remain so until the beginning of next week (that’s 100+ degrees for non metric minded).  i stupidly decided to take a walk to the vegetarian restuarant for lunch which seemed like a good idea at the time because i was still cold from the office and it was a downhill walk.  but let me tell you people, walking uphill for a block in a suit and high heels is NOT fun.  i almost called it quits halfway back up and was ready to hail a taxi.  so now i’m back at my desk – hot, sweaty, probably smelly and very grouchy.  why do people live in this country?