good god! i just went downstairs to the little cafe next to our office to get some lunch (my usual spot) and there’s a new guy working the counter. This dude is a very australian bloke – really thick australian accent, every other word is an aussie slang word, mullet, etc. And did i mention he talks really fast?
i order my food at the counter and, having special needs, have to request some extras (cheese, no mayo, no peppers, etc). i must’ve lost him halfway thru my order because his eyes start to glaze over and he’s waving his hands frantically telling me stop (i think he’s swatting flies or maybe it’s a nervous twitch). “don’t know what you’re saying mate.” but he says it really fast so i don’t know what he’s saying so i just kind of smile and nod my head (thinking to myself, “should i say fairdinkum?”). and we’re at a stand still. so then he starts saying it again – really slowly and very loudly (much to the delight of my colleagues standing around me) as if i’m hard of hearing and might need to read his lips. all the while, he’s tugging his ears and shrugging his shoulders to further add clarity to my slow brain. so then i repeat my order, this time more slowly (but not louder – i don’t need the world to know what i eat for lunch) and he says “ah, see, i can’t understand you because of your accent.” bah. it happens more than you think. i’ve become really paranoid about it. I have to repeat “water” about three times to a waiter before they know what i’m saying.
so super aussie bloke rings me up and i start taking my money out. and i try to be quick about it but i have to get a really good look at each coin/note because after two years here, the money still confuses me. even the different colours don’t help. after what seems like an hour, i tentatively hand him the money. of course it’s wrong. i gave him a five in stead of a twenty. bah! they’re both red(ish). i was trying to not look like too much of a foreigner but failed miserably.
i quickly grabbed my lunch and high tailed it out of there. i hope he’s not there on monday.
Well, I’ve toned down my aussie accent over here, although I don’t think it was that bad to begin with though. It’s “water” not “war-dahh”, etc. And it jars me now when people call trousers pants. See, assimilating! I even drink pints. Half as many though.
No, your accent was never bad. Never annoyed me. and you don’t say things like “bloody oath” or “fairdinkum.”
yeah, i can’t say “pants” because it gets dec all confused. i had gotten so used to it that when we went to america, i was getting confused! at the spa, when they told me to take off my pants, i started to panic but then realised she meant trousers. ahhh! assimilation!