faffer.

the brit.

me, the kiwi and other asian are done with our brekkie. the brit is just starting his because he was faffing about doing this and doing that.

me: what time are we leaving for the movie?
kiwi: as soon as we’re all done eating i guess.
me: well, we need to set a target time for you know who. *motioning to Brit*
kiwi: hey, what time do you think you’ll be done eating?
brit: i’ll be ready to eat in a minute.

five minutes later the brit is still faffing. he’s like my mother. she runs around the house twice making sure all the lights are off and does some spot dusting while my father and i wait in the car. faffers.

how i feel this morning – post glutton fest

notice how chipper the brit looks. he’s preparing me a sandwich from leftover ham. and notice how clean the kitchen is. he cleaned it this morning. he’s a machine.

the kiwi and the other asian are over helping us finish off the left overs.  we’re supposed to see “cloudy with a chance of meatballs” at the imax down the road.  oh, i don’t know if i can watch a movie about raining food after last night…in 3D.

last night was a success.  the turkey turned out a treat, the best i’ve done so far. everyone went up for seconds and thirds so i knew it was good.  i wasn’t hungry after all that cooking. i was exhausted on my feet since 8am cooking. it was a good night though. i had a really nice time.  after everyone left, the Brit and I totally pigged out on the leftovers.  at midnight, we were sitting half drunk on the couch, watching Grand Designs, eating cold ham and turkey and apple pie and just chatting away about the night. i think that was the best part.

this was the first thanksgiving where i didn’t make anything out of a box or pre-made (stuffing, ham).  i did everything from scratch. the effort was worth it.  the final menu?

roast turkey
glazed ham
BBQ pulled pork
mashed potatoes
green bean casserole
walnut and apple stuffing
apple pie
mini pumpkin pies
shoofly pie
bread putting with whisky sauce

’twas a feast.

neck anyone?

my mother said that i’m supposed to use the neck to make turkey gravy. it looks so gross. i wave it at the brit and make ghost noises.

friday.

don’t have a lot of time for a post.  i got a belated thanksgiving to prepare for!

one month after hiring a new person for my team i have to find another.  it’s not much busier at work.  i just have to fire my newbie.  not cutting the mustard i’m afraid.  I told DB that he has to be the one to do it as i don’t get paid enough to make people feel that bad. bleh, the whole recruitment process begins again.

the brit is making fun of my turkey day gantt chart but it’s the only way i know when to start cooking something and how long it’ll take.  nerdy?  yes but necessary. according to my chart, i have to start prepping the baguettes for stuffing so i gots to go!

thursday.

preparation for my turkey has begun. i just finished cooking the brine.  i will let it cool overnight and then submerge my little turkey in it before i leave for work.  by saturday he’ll be ready to cook!  yum.  the brit is cooking 2 pies (apple and pumpkin) and bread pudding. it’s going to be a feast for six people!  we’ll be eating leftovers for 2 years.

i finally got christmas gifts for my team.  for four of them, i got gift vouchers for afternoon tea for two at the windsor hotel which is very poshy and yummy and then for my preggers gal i got her a baby bag from oroton. i  still need to get one more gift but i think i already know what that will be.  i can’t believe it’s almost christmas!  i even got super nice guy something even though he’s technically not on my team. i got him a holiday fruit cake from a fancy schmancy gourmet foodie place down the road from us. i thought he mentioned at our christmas party that he really liked christmas puddings but now thinking back on it, i think that was someone else. oh well.  at least it’ll keep til next year and then he can give it to someone else…or he can use it as a door stop or something. i am truly thankful for my team because if it weren’t for them, i don’t think i would’ve survived.

speaking of work,  i honestly think super nice guy hates DB way more than me.  amazing.  i didn’t think anyone despised him as much as me.  poor guy. preggers girl is beginning to hate him.  she said that when she called him on tuesday to tell him she was too sick to come in, his response was “oh, so do you think you can work on sunday?” nice, right?  and no one likes him…because…?? DB was chasing after me with a camera all day trying to take a picture of me with my award for our newsletter.  i wouldn’t let him so he told me to send him a picture i liked.  i sent him a picture of a wombat.

there’s a weird looking green bug on our light with with long wings and super long antennas. i hate it and i want the brit to kill it. the brit says that it’s just a long winged thing that won’t hurt me.  he doesn’t even know what it is. australia is full of all sorts of strange bugs and i’m not taking my chances with this one.  it’s probably just a larvae and it’ll grow to the size of a kangaroo.  we’ll come upstairs in the morning for our coffee and it’ll be lounging on our sofa, smoking cigarettes and laying eggs.  it’ll say “g’day mate.  i’m taking over.” and that’ll be the end of the american and the brit.  i can visualise it in my head!  i’m going to spray the hell out of it with fly spray.

DB update.

OMG. he.is.useless.

1 december – first day of summer.

today is the first day of summer in australia.  that really gets me in the christmas spirit! actually, the weather has been gorgeous today so i’m not going to complain (yet).

my boss was down from sydney today along with my equivalent in that office.  i get along quite well with him and was happy to see him. apparently DB was happy to see him too because he invited him and my boss out for lunch.  didn’t invite me – told me it was just a working lunch. wha-?  do i still work here?  do i have to flash my award in his face? while they probably went to some cute little bistro for a gourmet sandwich, i stayed at my desk and had paté on ritz crackers. classy. i looked at my laser-printed award certificate (with my name scrawled on it with a sharpie) thinking maybe it would make me feel important. crapbags. as revenge, i told the clients that DB would be working ’til eight to take care of their needs. i copied him in on it but knew he wouldn’t see it til i left because he was in a meeting.  DB loves to go home early,  well before me. he also gets in an hour after i get in.

so now i’m home and waiting for the brit to arrive.  i’m watching “A Baby Story” on lifetime and praying to god it finishes before he gets home. i actually want to watch the program on after it so i’ve left it on out of pure laziness. he might think i’m getting the baby urge. ha, never! i am getting an urge for a puppy. we don’t have time for one right now but our neighbour is getting one and i already put my name in for dog-sitting . . .

oh shit, brit home. “baby story” not done.  must go…

mondays are exceptional.

i got an award today for exceptional client focus and team leadership.  when it was announced i had to laugh.  i thought it was a typo.  i looked in our directory to see if there was someone else with my name. if the award was for and exceptionally shitty attitude at work then i wouldn’t question it. i think it’s a clever plan by manager to butter me up before he tells me that he can’t afford to give me a raise this year.

other than my award, today was rather mundane – and even my award didn’t make the day that much more interesting. i just spent the afternoon telling people that i was way too exceptional to do their work.

my boss is down from sydney tomorrow. maybe to present me with me plaque. i’d rather have cake.

blog for the brit.

it’ll be called “i’ll do the math”  (or to make it sound a bit more british, “i’ll do the maths”).

entries will be like this:

saturday, 28 November 2009
Value pack of 4 tins of Heinz baked beans for $4.79.  However, individual tins only cost $1.19 so therefore buying 4 separate tins will save you 3 cents over buying the so-called value pack.

Saturday, 21 November 2009
Realised that buying the smaller bottles of Ribena saved me 2 cents per litre rather than buying the large size.

Saturday, 14 November 2009
Took a stroll to the city and noticed a sign for super sized laundry detergent on sale.  was disappointed to learn that you saved 15 cents if you bought the same amount in smaller boxes.

and on and on.  this is what i listen to every time i go grocery shopping with the Brit. i guess it pays that one of us watches out.  i bought a pair of flip flops for $150 so i’m not exactly thrifty. mind you, neither is the brit.  he just doesn’t like to feel like a sucker and he likes think that he is not drawn in by false advertising.  he’s such a nerd.

i know my pork from my elbow.

the Brit and i went grocery shopping for our thanksgiving glutton fest next week.  i had the most fascinating conversation with the chappie who worked in the meat department.

ME: hi.  do you have turkeys?
Meat Boy: um, we have chicken.
ME: Yes, i see that, do you have turkey?
Meat Boy: did you try the deli?  They’ll cut if for you.
ME: I need a whole one for roasting.
Meat Boy: Oh, we just have chicken.
ME: uh, okay,  do you have ham that’s not already cooked?
Meat Boy: all of our pork is over there.
ME: I know but i don’t see ham.
Meat Boy: Well, there’s a pork roast.
ME: but I need a ham.
Meat Boy: well it’s all the same.  pork and ham. they’re all pork.
ME: Ham is cured pork from the leg.
Meat Boy: but it’s all pork, right?
ME: i’ll just go to the butcher.

i walk back to the brit with an exasperated look on my face.
ME: we have to go the butcher. they don’t know what ham is.
Brit: i can’t believe you actually asked him. they’re dumb here.
ME: but everyone knows what ham is, right?
Brit: Apparently not

god help me. this is why i don’t go out very often.  i’m surrounded by dumb people.  he really got to me though.  i had to go home and google “ham versus pork” to make sure that i wasn’t the one in the wrong.